My thoughts….

Okay Kevin, you asked us to write about what we’re feeling etc., Here you go.  I feel ready and hesitant at the same time.  I don’t mind talking to people about God, ask my neighbors, my sister etc. 

I am that person, though, that likes to be fit before entering the gym, so to go to someone I know will stretch me, scares me.  I have been praying for my sister for while, and she is one who stretches me, but I didn’t realize it until today.  My sister, on the other hand, challenges me in a whole other way.  She seems like she listens, and understands, is willing to take steps and from the outside looks like she’s ready to take leaps.  I get excited and tell everyone about her progress, and then she leaps backwards.  UGH, how this truly annoys me. 

From reading this book I decided I needed more God, and less of me, duh! I have been trying to create these adventures, but it’s those talks that just don’t seem to get through. I need to just remain calm and patient, keep praying for her.  When it’s God’s timing these talks will equal progress.  What’s crazy is that when He is ready, I don’t feel ready, and I get scared.  I get hot and talk loud and fast from feeling ill-equipped.   I have been praying that these adventures would come with my sister (and others) and that I would not speak any of my own words, but His words.  It would be cool if I didn’t even remember what I said, that way I truly would know it was Him and not me.  I know she will come to the Lord one day, God has promised me of that in a vision I had years ago.  I am clinging onto that. 

Until that day comes though, I need to remember that yes I need to study and read the word, but essentially, God is the one who is going to make a difference in her life, not me.  I’m just His puppet, He’s the puppeteer.  I need to keep praying for her and be ready for this adventure that He is going to take me on, not only with my sister, but hopefully with many others.  I also need not to get annoyed with these people it seem they are taking a step back, or  feel inadequate when things don’t go to MY plan.  Basically, I need to remember, as Mark reminded us, “It’s not about me.” 

That’s what’s going through my head, a bunch on rambling.  I hope it made sense though.  Thanks for listening.